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Motherhood : Sometimes You Want to Quit

My kids tell me they love me a hundred times a day, and for a very good reason....I might just pack my bags and leave. LOL. I've honestly said so myself, on worse days, a few times, and on other days, in a huff.

It sometimes feel like I've done everything within my power and yet, it is not enough. Something is still missing. If you live with someone who is understanding, you're in a good place, stay forever. If you live with someone who thinks nothing of everything that you've done, then please consider the meaning of life. #kiddingnotkidding

I remember sitting at the back kitchen in 2005 or 2006 trembling with anxiety, fear and insecurity because nothing I did was ever enough for the person that I was living with. There was bound to be something I am bad at and it was MY RESPONSIBILITY. I had it shoved down my throat and into my heart so bad that I believed that everything WAS my responsibility and it's my fault. All of them.

I was made to feel that everything had to be perfect and the job was mine but the reality is nothing is perfect. The laundry will never be empty (for long). As long as you have small children in the house, there is going to be that one single evil, cursed piece LEGO on the floor for you to step on. Dust is everywhere.

Mothers are humans who give and give and give, they know no boundaries as long as they know and think that there is something they can do for their children and family. Yes, there are going to be those moms who rocked their children's lunch boxes with kimchi-inspired burgers, steaks and potatoes, healthy burritos and chia-seed juices. There are also going to be moms who rock their Pradas and LVs while picking their kids up from Kindergarten. There will also be moms who have romantic night-outs and holidays with their significant others away from the kids in a beautiful foreign land.

They're all on Facebook, right? #lol

And while there's nothing wrong with any of the abovementioned moms, what we're actually talking about right now is you who does not, did not have, will not be able to have or don't do any of the above right now or in the near future.
Motherhood doesn’t look anything like I imagined when I was young. Motherhood doesn’t look like those pinterest boards full of birthday ideas with perfect fondant cakes and party favors that take three hours to make - FindingJoy.net
Despite lacking in many ways, dirty floors, dusty shelves and moldy toilets and all, every single day of my life, I have dedicated them to these 2 people that I've been tasked to raise and love. And as the Chinese saying goes, As long as you can answer to the heaven, earth and yourself, you're fine. Even if I die today, I think I am fine. I don't have to answer to Hell, right? Right, I'm good to go. LOL

So, there's a spot on the floor? Fine. I'll let my boy know about it and he'll clean it.

And by the way,


...and the wine, please. The wine.

XOXO,
It's Friday again, folks!
Love,
Marsha
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